What is Haram between Husband and Wife in Islam | Sex Positions Banned in Islam
Introduction:
Sex positions banned in Islam
Marital relationships are the most cherished and the most critical bond in Islam. This relationship is a source of love, companionship, joy, peace and comfort. However, there are some restrictions and boundaries set for the sexual relationships between spouses in light of the Quran and Hadith. These restrictions are for the purity and for maintaining the sanctity of marital relationships. Some certain behaviors and acts are Haram (Haram means prohibited) in Islam. In this article, we will shed some light on what Haram is between husband and wife in Islam, as seen in the guidance of the Quran and the Hadith.
- Intercourse During Menstruation:
Direct sexual contact or intercourse is prohibited during menstruation in Islam. You can kiss your wife, touch her, hug her, but no intercourse. Sex positions banned in Islam. It is sinful to have sexual intercourse when women are on periods.
Quran has a clear statement in Surah Baqarah:
“And they ask you about menstruation. Say, ‘It is harmful, so keep away from wives during menstruation. Moreover, do not approach them until they are pure. Moreover, when they have purified themselves, then come to them from where Allah has ordained for you. Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.”
It is permissible to engage in intimate relationships with a wife but above the navel and below the knees.
Many Hadith state that the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) engages in intimate relations with his wives but without crossing the boundaries. Hazrat Memona, one of the wives of the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.), reported in Sahih Muslim 294 that:
“The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.) contacted and embraced his wives over the waist wrapper when they were menstruating.”
- Anal Intercourse:
In Islam, anal intercourse is clearly and strictly prohibited based on the teachings of the Quran and the Holy Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.). Islam focuses on making relationships that are indeed based on mutual respect, morality, and ethics. Anal Sex is harmful, unnatural, and violates the sanctity of marital relationships. There are many hadith present that provoke anal intercourse considering it the Haram act.
Prophet Mohammad (S.A.W.) explicitly forbade the act of anal intercourse in these words:
“Do not approach women from the rear.” (Sunan et al., 1924)
Another Hadith adds further clarity:
“Allah will not look at a man who has intercourse with his wife in her rectum.”
(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 1165)
Islam is a religion of nature; it emphasizes the practices that are near to nature. Anal Sex does not align with the natural order in which God has created man and woman. The Quran emphasizes entering into your wife in the natural order.
“Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish…”
Many physical and medical harms come with anal Sex. As the anal area is not designed for penetration, so any activity causes injuries, pain, infections, and many other complications.
- Oral Sex:
Oral Sex is a hot topic of debate among scholars of different schools of thought. This is a common question: Is Oral Sex Permissible in Islam Within a Marital Relationship?
The answer is that there is no unanimous consensus present on this matter.
According to some scholars, it is permissible to do oral Sex if certain conditions are kept in consideration. These conditions are that the impurities or the sexual fluids that are considered Nijas are not allowed to be swallowed.
On the other hand, there is a group of scholars who are against oral Sex and categorize it as Makruh (discouraged but not sinful). They advise against it regarding cleanliness, modesty, and avoidance of impure elements. This group of scholars argues that the mouth that is used for the dhikr of Allah and other sacred purposes should not be used for that kind of act.
- Intimacy During Ramadan and Pilgrimage:
Ramzan is a holy month of fasting and praying. Sexual intimacy is Haram when you are fasting in the daylight, and it is permissible when you break your fast after sunset.
Related Blog: list of ghazwa in Islam
Quran says in Surah Al Baqarah:
“It has been made permissible for you to be intimate with your wives during the nights preceding the fast. Your spouses are a garment for you as you are for them. Allah knows that you were deceiving yourselves. So, He has accepted your repentance and pardoned you. So now you may be intimate with them and seek what Allah has prescribed for you. ˹You may˺ eat and drink until you see the light of dawn breaking the darkness of night, then complete the fast until nightfall. Do not be intimate with your spouses while you are meditating in the mosques. These are the limits set by Allah, so do not exceed them. This is how Allah makes His revelations clear to people so that they may become mindful ˹of Him˺.”
Sexual intimacy is also Haram when one of the spouses or both of them are wearing ihram (pilgrimage dress) for Hajj or Umrah. However, after performing a hajj or Umrah pilgrimage, it is permissible after getting out of the ihram (dress for pilgrimage).
Allah S.W.T. says in the Quran:
“˹Commitment to˺ pilgrimage is made in appointed months. Whoever commits to the ˹performing˺ pilgrimage, let them stay away from intimate relations, foul language, and arguments during the pilgrimage. Whatever good you do, Allah ˹fully˺ knows of it. Take ˹necessary˺ provisions ˹for the journey˺ — surely the best provision is righteousness. Moreover, be mindful of Me, O people of reason!”
- Sexual Activities Under the Sky or in Public:
Islam is a religion of modesty; Islamic Shriya teaches us to keep their love and intimacy secret. Islam strictly restricts us from engaging in any intimacy in public or in an open atmosphere under the sky. Islam wants us to keep our privacy and maintain the sanctity of the act. It is closer to modesty and helps create a pure and healthy environment in society based on modesty. Moreover, it protects one’s dignity and privacy. Quran and Hadith emphasize maintaining this sacred relationship completely in privacy, away from the sight and knowledge of anybody. It is highly inappropriate and sinful in Islam to not take care of your intimacy as a couple.
Modesty is not just related to appropriate dressing; it also extends to husband-and-wife relationships.
Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) said about modesty that:
“Modesty is part of faith.”
(Sahih Muslim, 36)
In Islam, privacy and intimacy are acts of worship. The holy Prophet (S.A.W.) said:
“The most wicked among people before Allah on the Day of Judgment is the man who goes to his wife, and she comes to him, and then he divulges her secrets.”
(Sahih Muslim, 1437a)
Sex in Islam under the sky or in public places not only leads society towards impudence and shamelessness, but it also leads towards scandals and indecency.
Quran very loudly commands believers to avoid public indecency:
“And come not near to shameful deeds, whether open or secret…”
(Quran 6:151)
- Revealing Each Other’s Intimate Secrets:
It is sinful to reveal marital intimate secrets of partners with anyone. Marital intimacy is a private secret between husband and wife that is not allowed to be revealed.
The Quran similizes husband and wife relationships as garments for each other. As in Quran 2:187:
“…They are clothing for you, and you are clothing for them…”
Clothing or garments are used for protection and coverage of the body. They mask all the flaws of a person and adorn one’s personality; the same is the purpose of the spouses for each other. They are as close as garments, and they protect and adorn each other.
Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) said:
“The worst of people in the sight of Allah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who consorts with his wife and then publishes her secrets.”
(Sahih Muslim, 1437a)
This Hadith highlights the importance of safeguarding marital intimacy secrets. There are many wisdoms to not reveal this intimacy; one of them is to maintain modesty in society.
- Harmful Physical or Emotional Abuse:
Islam strictly forbids any harsh or abusive behavior, whether in the form of physical, verbal, or emotional. There are a vast number of Hadith and Quranic verses that are based on the commandments of treating wives with love, respect, and kindness. The Quran emphasizes the compassion of marriage in these words.
“And live with them in kindness…”
(Quran 4:19)
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also taught that physical abuse is unacceptable. He never struck any of his wives and encouraged others to refrain from such behaviors. Abuse violates the principles of mercy and respect that are central to an Islamic marriage.
The Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) had the best gentle treatment with his wives and was a role model for believers. He (S.A.W.) said that:
“The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.”
(At-Tirmidhi, 1162)
- Refusing to fulfill Marital Rights:
Husbands and wives are bound to fulfill each other’s emotional and physical needs with all the love and kindness. It is Haram to refuse to meet the lawful rights of the spouse without a valid reason. So, it is essential to fulfill the legitimate needs of your partner. The holy Prophet (S.A.W.) advised against neglecting these rights, stating:
“When a husband calls his wife to his bed, and she does not come, and he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari, 5193)
It is important to note that this applies to both spouses, and there should be mutual care and understanding in fulfilling each other’s rights.
Forced Intercourse (Marital Rape):
Islam emphasizes mutual love, kindness, and respect. It teaches the husband and wife to reach intimacy with mutual consent and feelings of understanding and love for each other. In fact, in Islam, forcing a wife into intimacy without her will and consent is Haram. The Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) said in this regard:
“None of you should approach his wife like a beast (i.e., forcefully); let there be an emissary between them.” When asked what the emissary was, he said: “Kisses and sweet words.”
(Al-Dailami, Musnad al-Firdaus)
This Hadith emphasizes the importance of tenderness and love in approaching one’s spouse, rejecting any form of coercion.
- Mistreating or Disobeying the Parents of the Spouse:
Islam is a perfect code of life covering all the aspects of our lives, considering each person’s rights in society. Islam emphasizes the harmonious relationship with in-laws, especially with the parents of the spouse. Respecting and honoring the spouse’s parents is a fundamental duty in Islam. Islam emphasizes that both husband and wife treat each other’s parents with love, kindness, and respect. This creates a beautiful atmosphere in society, and it plays its role in strengthening the bond between the husband and wife.
Disobeying or mistreating the parents of your spouse is not only harmful to the marital relationship but is also considered sinful in Islam.
“He who severs the ties of kinship will not enter Paradise.”
(Sahih Muslim, 2556)
Even if challenges arise in dealing with the spouse’s parents, Islam teaches patience, understanding, and efforts toward peaceful coexistence.
- Practicing Magic or Seeking Superstitious Solutions:
Some people with superstitious beliefs practice magic to influence marital relationships. This is Haram in Islam, which is used to practice magic for any purpose. It is a sign of not believing in Allah Almighty and following and believing in satanic powers. Such acts are strictly condemned and forbidden in Islam. The Quran denounces these people in this way:
“And [yet] they learn from them that by which they cause separation between a man and his wife. However, they do not harm anyone through it except with the permission of Allah. Moreover, the people learn what harms them and do not benefit them.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:102)
Conclusion:
Marriage in Islam is a sacred and blessed institution that fosters love, mutual respect, and compassion between husband and wife. However, to maintain the sanctity of this relationship, certain boundaries are set by Allah (S.W.T.) through the Quran and Sunnah. Understanding what is Haram between husband and wife ensures that both partners live in harmony, honoring their marital duties while upholding Islamic values.
By avoiding these prohibited acts and focusing on kindness, respect, and love, couples can create a solid and lasting relationship that is pleasing to Allah and beneficial to both spouses in this world and the Hereafter.
F.A.Q.s:
Can I kiss my wife’s private parts in Islam?
Yes! According to the scholars of Syafieyyah, It is permissible for a husband to enjoy the body of her wife except for entering from the anus. On the other hand, according to Hanabilah scholars, it is an obvious statement that you can kiss your wife’s private part (vagina) before intercourse and not after the intercourse as its makruh, according to these scholars.
Can I kiss my husband’s private parts in Islam?
There are different interpretations present; some scholars say it is permissible as long as it is done within the boundaries of love and respect. Other scholars do not encourage it, but it is not forbidden explicitly
Can I touch my wife’s breast during fasting?
In the light of Islamic teachings, non-sexual gestures like touching your wife’s body parts are permissible in Islam; you can even hug and kiss your wife to show her love and affection. However, keep in mind that this touching during fasting may not lead to sexual arousal and intercourse.
